What's in a name?

I really couldn't come up with a name for this entry. What does a name mean? It tells you what the whole thing is about, before you even get the chance to read it. Why name these blogs? Why not just make you sit here and read them out. That's the whole point.

Life hasn't been going as I had hoped it would be during the beautiful month of November. We are only six days in, and I already feel stressed and ready to freak out on people. Some things leave me questioning every motive. What is the purpose for everything I am doing? Does everything have to have a purpose, or is it just supposed to serve as a timeline of things I have done in my life? This month I am going up to the city, only once sadly, but happy to say that I get to spend time with one of the most amazing friends ever. Its going to be one heck of a p-a-r-t-y partay, in quote from her mother.

So there are many things on my mind that I feel the need to blog about right now, but we are going to try and keep it to one topic a post. Today I watched some videos that were posted from an in-studio, and in-bus type thing that happened in the past week, and let me just say, genuine happiness. I felt like I could put a smile on my face and let my heart feel okay, because they are happy. Right now, people have been saying things about the way the boys are looking and acting. I really do get tired of hearing all this stuff, and it is truly breaking my heart. Sure, we make fun of their clothes in a "wow that was funny" kind of way, but we don't go criticizing why they are wearing what they are wearing. If you were wearing something that someone thought made you look overly slutty, would you like them calling you a slut for it? Just because the boys enjoy wearing skinny jeans and shawls, gives nobody the right to call them gay. We all have our little jokes, but in all reality, saying things like that seriously can hurt. Don't say that they are being forced to dress like this, and that they are being forced to act as "metrosexuals" when they dont really want to. If you are going to call them a metrosexual, then y ou really can't call them gay, that totally defeats thje purpose of being metrosexual, and turns it into being homosexual. They are going to dress the way they want to dress, and that is the end of it. Don't be judgemental of the clothes that are worn, by anyone. Before I judge you by the outfits you wear, and start to make up rumors about you, because of what you wear. If you don't like the boys music or the way they dress, thats fine. Don't be so critical, as there are some people that quite franktly enjoy every single bit of it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but saying things like that, and meaning them seriously, isn't right. Have respect. And as I said, everyone is entitled to your own opinion, so you can say you don't like the music, and you can say you don't like the clothes, but don't EVER say that you hate the boys. In all reality, most of you have no idea what the boys are like, most of you ahve never even met them. After you meet them and get to know them, then you can say that you hate them, but after you do, you won't ever say that. They are three of the sweetest boys ever, and I don't understand how people can bash on them so easily, when they don't even know them. Don't be a fan for a few months, then just randomly start bashing them and say you don't care. If you don't care, and you don't like them, why are they still on your mind? Who knows, it's baffling.

I find myself wondering that sometimes. "Why can't I get them off of my mind?" " Why can't I just let go?"

God works in mysterious ways.

And for that I am thankful.

Now that I was so rudely interrupted by one of my brother's halo buddies, and his sister getting on the phone telling him to "get off so she can call matt" I really don't have anymore to say.


Thanks for reading.

Sure to be another one soon.

What does it mean?

As I'm sitting here doing schoolwork, and chatting with some good friends, and some new friends, I begin to think about the same thing I have pondered a good amount of time every so often. What does the term "best friend" mean in my life? People have been coming into and leaving my life for as long as I remember, but I have been thinking about how all the people that supposedly cared so much about me, have just completely forgotten that I exist. I guess all this pondering on the topic started last year at one of the local fairs. I was seeing everyone and even wondering when they were going to say hi, and come give me a hug and tell me that they missed me. No such luck. It seemed as thought they had all moved on from remembering my perturbed existence. I had fun with the friends that I had stayed close with since I had left that school, but I was still hoping that I would go home, get online and see some messages from some of the people I had run into that night saying, "Oh, I saw you tonight!" or "Why didn't you say hi to me tonight?!" But again, no such luck. Why had I once called these people that had once cared so much about me my best friends. Why couldn't I tell that once I was gone and out of their life I would be eternally forgotten. We all promised to stay in contact, and talk whenever we could, but now I'm not even recognized by the people I once felt so close with. I can walk around that town at a parade on the street for so many hours, and see so many familiar faces that I have so many great memories with, and I just have to walk past them, and flash them a smile, leaving them wondering who I was. People grow up, right? We all make new friends, and we all move on with our lives. But why does it hurt so much to feel that you have been forgotten by people that cried the day you left, and said that we would always hang out and do all this stuff. In the beginning I was at all the parties, going to all the school's events, and now, I'm worried that even the friendships I still have with some amazing people won't last as long as we would have liked. Some of us have remained close, but mostly by a thread. I miss youg uys, and the time I spent with you was some of the best times of my life. I won't ever forget it. I am so thankful for all the friends I do get to spend time with, and who actually still take the time to ask me what is wrong when I'm having a bad day. Or take the time to call me just to see how I am doing. There are some people that I have spent a good amount of time with, and began to call you my best friends. Why do I let the term "best friend" come so loosely off of my tongue? After that short amount of time, we pretty much just stopped talking. No more random phone calls, no more spanding time together, making fun of each other for the dumbest reasons, but most of all, no more us. I don't take the term "best friend" so loosely anymore. If you are one of my best friends, you know it. Even though a lot of you that I consider my "bffs" don't get to see me or hang out with me too often, we still ahve the most amazing time ever. And I know that whenever I need someone to talk to you girls will always be here for me. I love our random texting, phone calls, and internet conversations. And the only reason that we have come to know each other was because of the Jonas Brothers. We quickly got to know each other, and figured out that we have way too much in common, but if it weren't for the boys, we would have never met. I really love you girls with all my heart, and I want you to know that I am always going to be here for you, and will always cherish all the time we've spent together. No matter what we're doing; rocking out at a concert, throwing a party, or just goofing off, we always have the most amazing time, just because we are best friends. God pushes and pulls people out of our lives for a reason. Although I am sad to have lost all my previous "best friends", I am glad that He showed me the path to you guys.

Just Getting Into This

I have been having the urge to blog a lot lately. Rather than post all of my ramblings on myspace, I found it essential that I make my own blogspot. This thing can get pretty interesting, but it will let you all know where I stand in life, everyday. This seems a bit like the old site, called xanga, but I will again try and write in here when I have the greater urge to let all of you know what is going on in my head.

This was just my first post, becasue I wanted to let everyone know why I made this, rather than just posting all my blogs on myspace. When I post a blog on myspace, I feel as if all the people I don't want to be reading it, are reading my blogs, and leaving me feedback. This way, everyone can read my blogs, and I don't have to worry about getting frustrated with people. In all seriousness, these blogs will be for everyone to read, and rather than attract so many people to my myspace page, becasue we all know how much I hate having random people add me, you can all just pass the blog links around and do what you want.

But enough of this for now.

There will be another blog posted in a little while.
Keep your eyes peeled.